Mother-in–law is one of the primary topic to discuss for married women or even among friends if one of you plans to marry soon. Wonder from where nuclear families came? If you ask us, probably it was the best thing for a married woman. Not everyone gets a mother in law who is a well-wisher and easy to get along.
The perception of mother-in-law’s is anyways highly severed and those who can’t seem to get along with their daughter-in-laws keep adding to it. We would say there are reasons for so. Can be a case of the attachment to her son, she still perceives him to be her little boy. Some times it’s even the control issue. You’re husband might come across as more influenced by your ideas and hence he might move away from old habits making his mother feel insecure. Before you end up severing your relationship because of her taunts, emotional torture or even physical abuse as has been seen around the world, follow a few points listed below. For all you know it’ll make life easier.
Communicate and talk it out.
At the beginning if you don’t find your mother in law very responsive and find it hard to get long, mention that your spouse is what’s common between you two and for that reason alone you should try to make your and her relationship civil.
Most of times when daughter in-laws comes in to the picture, the mothers get insecure. Make sure you state you both love him and that she will stay his mother and you will be his spouse. Mother-in-laws also think about the wives as manipulators and women who like to get one up on their in-laws, state that you’re not the sort and you were actually hoping to make a good relationship as you are one big family and there would be grand children in future who would love to grow up with constant dotting by grandparents.
Distance yourself
After playing the emotional card or hundred percentage genuine self, if your mother in law still continues to play coy and mean, make sure you communicate when necessary and do not make overt gestures to mingle. Mother in laws, not all, but can be emotionally and physically abusive even more so if you weren’t the ideal choice for their son. Make sure you mention you don’t want to go for extended trips to theirs and would like to live separately.
Talk to your spouse
A husband would not want to listen to you talking bad about his mother. But having said that have a close talk with your spouse about how you have made gestures to make it a good relationship and may be it would not be so. We warn do not play the blame game.
Talk and communicate about how you would like it so but maybe they aren’t the two people who get along really well. Ask your spouse to understand so and not push you for every second family occasion to interact, call, and visit. Mention what we mentioned in the first point, about how you would love for your children you be always communicating with grandparents and knowing them.
A spouse should only understand that not everyone gets along and that you can stay in touch but not joint at the hip. In case of severe measures, do seek help of your spouse. Accept yourself that maybe she would not change all life or may be age will mellow her down. But if she does not change, you by all means keep yourself safe from guilt, emotional and physical abuse.
I would love to hear your experiences of dealing with your Mother-in-law. Please leave me a comment and let me know. Subscribe our RSS to receive latest relationship advice and updates.
